Sunday, June 28, 2009

How to Combat The Media's Influence On Our Children

By Dianna Hobbs 

This is not your typical parenting article that shares “survival tips”, or the best DVD’s and activities to fight boredom. Rather, I’m going to share practical principles and techniques for raising spiritually, mentally and emotionally healthy children. The neat thing is that you have complete control over the effectiveness of the techniques, they cost you nothing, and you can test them out in the comfort of your own home. Sound good? Then, keep reading.

Did you know that the U.S. media landscape is dominated by a core group of giant corporations that, through a history of mergers and acquisitions, have gained control over much of what we see, hear and read? In many cases these giant companies are integrated, manufacturing everything from books, movies, music and more.

Listen to this, the Columbia Journalism Review reports that the same company that owns and controls the programming for “MTV” and “BET”, is also responsible for “Nickelodeon”, “Nick Jr.”, and “Noggin”. (Source: Columbia Journalism Review, www.cjr.org)

Think about it. A popular trend has emerged, where the music careers of young stars are launched on Disney Channel and Nickelodeon. The songs and videos usually start out innocently enough. Then what happens? We see them transition to MTV, where the songs become a little more risqué and the lyrics become a lot less innocent. By then, however, our children have already fallen in love with these young stars. So, what can you do?

Does this mean that you should ban all of your children’s favorite television shows? No. I’m not suggesting that you toss the television out the window, although that may be a good idea. Instead, I want to provoke you to consider how important it is to be prayerful, diligent and informed in order to shield your children from negative influences that can harm their spiritual, mental and emotional well-being.

Here are a few ways you can become more involved in their daily activities. When your children are viewing certain programs, take time to watch. You may be surprised at the types of things you see. As you observe, ask yourself, “What is being depicted in this cartoon or movie? What are the characters wearing, saying and doing?” Sometimes sexual innuendo, rebellion against authority, and other inappropriate behavior is being portrayed. These subtle, yet unhealthy influences send subliminal messages to your children and mold their subconscious mind.

If a movie is rated PG-13, even if it’s animated and has received rave reviews from the critics, still ask yourself “Is this appropriate for my child?” Think about it. Animated movies gross millions of dollars at the box office, because children’s entertainment is big business. The goal now is to entertain both the parents and the children; as a result, the children are influenced by sexually explicit content, vulgarity, profanity and violence, all cloaked as “entertainment that’s fun for the whole family.”

Remember, everything planted inside your children is a seed, and seeds grow, whether bad or good. Children are like sponges, soaking up everything around them. As a parent, you act as the sanitizing agent, filtering out anything that will defile and harm them. Don’t be afraid to turn the television off, or ban particular programs from being viewed in your home. These decisions are not always easy or popular, but they are necessary to protect the innocence of your children.

Be warned. Family and friends will not always smile upon your decision to sterilize your children’s environment. You will sometimes be perceived as “overly protective” and “a little over the top.” I know it’s no fun to be viewed as a prude, and few parents enjoy being labeled “strict,” but if you go the extra mile to provide your children with discipline and boundaries, you will build Godly character in them that will pay off in the long run. You must make the decision that Joshua made and declare that, “As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.” (Joshua 24:15)

Think about this. You don’t have a long time to remain the primary influence in your children’s lives. Pretty soon, they’ll leave home. This is when they’ll depend on what you taught them in their formative years to make the right decisions. Do you really want television shows, video games and pop culture icons to be the strongest influences on their choices?

God chose you specifically as the steward over your precious children. Remain prayerful, submitted, and open to God’s will. Trust Him, and He will equip you with all the necessary tools to raise Holy, happy and healthy kids. “In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will direct your paths.” (Proverbs 3:6)

© 2007 Hobbs Ministries. All rights reserved.
Dianna Hobbs is Vice President of Hobbs Ministries, a Christian copywriting and PR firm specializing in creative writing solutions for individuals, ministries and faith-based organizations. If you’re looking for exceptional Christian writers to provide powerful website copy, press releases, press kits, articles, advertorials, direct mail letters, ghostwriting and more, then visit http://www.hobbsministries.com

Dianna is also a wife, a homeschooling mother of four, and a highly popular speaker for Christian women’s conferences and retreats.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Dianna_Hobbs

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Encourage Your Child's Self-Esteem

By Monika B. Pis, Ph.D.

Self-esteem is an integral part of your child's development, as well as the basis for healthy social skills.

Self-esteem is defined as a person's feeling of self-worth, or a person's view of his or her competency. Children with high self-esteem feel substantial worth, and believe themselves to be good and capable. On the other hand, children with low self-esteem think they are useless and that others do not care how they behave and perform.

The role of healthy self-esteem cannot be stressed enough. How your child views his/her worth will play a role in how he/she performs in school, deals with mistakes and failures, motivates self, and interacts with peers.

In adolescence, your child's self-esteem will influence his or her resistance to risky behaviors, such as alcohol consumption, cigarette smoking, drug use, and sex. While high self-esteem is associated with an overall sense of well-being during adolescence, low self-esteem is related to risk behaviors and negative developmental outcomes. For example, adolescents with low self-esteem are at high risk for attempting suicide. Studies have shown that adolescents with low self-esteem have elevated levels of suicidal ideation and negative expectations of the future.

According to research at the Florida State University, parents who have boys with low self-esteem at age 11 were 1.6 times more likely to meet the criteria for drug dependence nine years later than other children. These findings are a wake up call to parents and other adults who interact with children.

Characteristics of children with HIGH self-esteem:

- Make friends easily

- Show enthusiasm for new activities

- Are cooperative and follow age-appropriate rules

- Control their behavior

- Play by themselves and with other children

- Like to be creative and have their own ideas

- Are happy

Characteristics of children with LOW self-esteem:

- Don't believe they can do things well

- Fear interactions with other children

- Don't share ideas

- Are sad

Parents can help their children to build high self-esteem from a very early age. The simplest ways include: praising your child's efforts and successes however small, providing warmth and affection, being supportive, showing interest in your child's activities, using positive enforcement, and being patient when your child learns new skills.

Robert Brooks, PhD, assistant professor of psychology at the Harvard Medical School, offers these strategies to parents to foster a healthy self-esteem:

1. Provide opportunities to make choices, decisions, and solve problems. 
A belief that one has some control of their environment leads to high self-esteem.

2. Help develop responsibility and make a contribution. 
Assuming responsibility that makes one feel capable and making a contribution boosts self-esteem.

3. Offer encouragement and positive feedback. 
Self-esteem is nurtured when adults communicate appreciation and encouragement to children.

4. Help establish self-discipline. 
Ability to reason and reflect on one's behavior and its impact on others helps in developing a high self-esteem.

5. Teach to deal with mistakes and failure. 
The fear of making mistakes and feeling embarrassed is a potent obstacle to challenges and taking appropriate risks, and thus achieving positive self-esteem.
Dr. Monika Pis is a pediatric nurse practitioner and the Editor-in- Chief for Plugged In Parents.

Please visit http://www.pluggedinparents.com

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Monika_B._Pis,_Ph.D.

Thursday, June 11, 2009

Godly Mothers - A Precious and Rare Gift

By Vivian Gordon 

I have had the great privilege of having a mother for 51 years 
and being one for 28 years. The older I get, the more I 
appreciate the most wonderful gift that God could have ever 
given me, my own mom. I see myself in her in many ways 
and in other ways, I'm nothing like her. I have made many 
mistakes in my life, ones that my mother would never have 
made, but she respected me as an individual and never 
tried to interfere. She knew she gave me a firm foundation 
on which to come back into. I can't say she wasn't heart 
broken at times for some of my decisions. But, she had faith 
in God and His promises. And this is what makes a godly 
mother.

She took me to church on Sundays and she made sure I 
had a proper upbringing. She taught me how to be secure in 
who I was, and made me aware of my own moral beliefs. I 
was fortunate to have a godly mother who introduced me to 
a loving God by showing me that same love, unconditionally. 
She passed down these attributes to me and by the time I 
had my children, they were also aware of the love I had for 
them, no matter what they may have done.

In looking back on my life, I have to admit that I turned from 
the right path and chose my own course for awhile, and God 
wasn't a very big part of it. It's a typical human reaction to 
retreat and hide from God when you know you're behaving 
badly. Once these circumstances catch up with you, God 
then becomes the main focus again and this is where He 
takes us into the woodshed and teaches us the lessons we 
thought we could do without! It goes to show that you can 
never hide from God, He'll find you every time and He will 
correct you.

"Train up a child in the way he should go (and in keeping 
with his individual gift or bent), and when he is old he will 
not depart from it." Proverbs 22:6 (Amplified)

When we are raised in God's Word, or have raised our own 
children that way, we must trust that everything will turn out 
for the good even when it seems like all is lost. It's not a 
matter of "If" but rather "When" things will turn around. Just 
like my own mother, she never lost hope that I would come 
back to Christ. I thank her for her prayers.

Once God's Word has entered into your life, you will never 
depart from it. Thank God He knows the disobedience of 
children and the rebellious condition of their hearts. He is 
always ready and waiting to forgive. And God gave mothers 
this unconditional love also.

There are several mothers mentioned in the Bible that set 
examples for us today. A godly mother is a rare commodity 
in today's society and she is more precious than gold. What 
makes a mother like this so special in God's eyes? Let's 
look at a few examples.

First there was Hannah. God had left her barren and as any 
normal woman, she had strong maternal instincts. She was 
one of two wives and her husband Elkanah's other wife, 
Peninnah, had no sympathy for Hannah's childless 
condition. Hannah laid her burden before God in prayer and 
promised Him that if He would allow her to conceive, she 
would give him back in lifetime service.

That's exactly what happened. God gave her a son called 
Samuel and he was raised by Eli the high priest. Hannah 
was a woman of her word and God blessed her and these 
blessings were handed down to Samuel as well. (Read 1 
Sam. 1).

Another special mother was Eunice. There isn't much said 
about her, but Paul gave her credit when he wrote to her son 
Timothy (2 Tim.) Eunice raised Timothy in God's Word. This 
wasn't particularly easy for her since her husband was a 
Greek and did not believe in Jesus. There are many women 
today who have husbands that are non-believers but are 
raising their children to be godly people, and they are to be 
commended for their service to the Lord.

"But as for you, continue to hold to the things that you have 
learned and of which your are convinced, knowing from 
whom you have learned (them)." 2 Tim. 3:14 (Amplified)

Eunice didn't abandon her hope in raising Timothy to be a 
Christian. Eunice also had a godly mother named Lois who 
had a major part in Timothy's upbringing. They taught young 
Timothy the word of God from the moment he was old 
enough to understand it and for this, it stuck with him in his 
later years. Paul recognized the great importance of these 
two women in Timothy's life. Can you see yourself in any of 
these godly mothers?

As anyone knows, mothers are the major factor in molding 
us into the people we are and that in turn, we pass them 
onto our own children and grandchildren. Mothers have 
many roles in their life, just as God Himself. A mother is 
gentle, loving, fair, patient, encouraging but also must be a 
disciplinarian. A loving mother must always correct her 
child in order to make them a responsible person later on. 
Sometimes it doesn't make us very popular, but when all is 
said and done, we will forever be remembered on our 
special day. What our children may not see as a benefit 
today, will look back and thank us. Children are foolish, but 
since we are the adults, we have the wisdom and need to 
use it!

"Foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child, but the rod 
of discipline will drive it far from him." Proverbs 22:15 
(Amplified)

The best gift we as moms can give our children is 
discipline. It makes for a strong, secure and responsible 
adult. Face it, the world is a tough place to exist and has no 
patience for fools.

It was never my intention to give my two young sons 
everything they thought they wanted. I made them aware of 
the reality that was waiting for them. I wanted them to realize 
that they would appreciate things better if they had to work 
for them. Today both of them are earning their own way in 
the world and doing a great job of it at that.

It is my goal in life that when I reach the end of my days, I 
can look back not in regret, but rather that I have left a legacy 
of God's Word in my own childrens' lives and they in turn will 
hand this down to their children. That is the true meaning of 
being a godly mother and succeeding in the plan that God 
has laid out for each and every one of us.

When a mother has eyes of faith, she will see God at work 
in everything.

If this article has touched you, won't you please add a 
comment and give God the glory today?
Vivian Gordon writes inspirational and spiritual articles in which to help strengthen the Believer's walk in Christ. They are often taken from today's point of view and used in conjunction with what God says about certain situations and how we are to handle them. There is always an answer for every problem. These articles are not all about asking God "why?" but in finding the answers.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Vivian_Gordon

Sunday, June 7, 2009

Child Development, IQ Boosts Related to Parental Treatment

By Wingy Lee

How parents treat and discipline their children has a huge effect upon their children's development later on in life and on their IQ, according to numerous studies. 

Put simply, positive treatment and discipline boosts a child's IQ and leads to smart kids while abuse has been found to lower a child's IQ.  

A 1998 University of New Hampshire study found that spanking lowers a child's IQ by four points. Of the 960 children studied, those who were not spanked demonstrated an IQ average of 102 points while those who were spanked typically test at an average of 98 points. 

The researchers found that the actual spanking did not cause physical damage that led to the lower IQ scores, but the fact that the parents who did not spank spent more time communicating with their children and explaining to them why their actions were wrong.  

This kind of communication resulted in these children learning reasoning skills-the kind that result in higher IQs. The children who were spanked did not learn these skills and as a result tested lower on the IQ tests. 

The how-to-treat your child debate doesn't just hinge on to-spank or not-to-spank, it's about positive stimulation versus negative stimulation. In fact, researchers are not sure which is worse-negative stimulation or no stimulation at all. Negative stimulation has been linked to a loss of as much as four IQ points, but devastating physiological effects may be caused by minimal or no stimulation at all. 

A 1995 study conducted by researchers at Baylor University showed that children who were spoken to or touched only rarely possessed brains that were actually 20 to 30 percent smaller than their peers who received ample amounts of positive interaction.

Those same children in the study who did not receive enough stimulation could not use toys imaginatively nor seek out and attempt to understand the objects around them. 

The real key to child development and boosting your child's IQ is to strike a balance between meeting their emotional needs and stimulating them intellectually. When this balance is struck, children grow up to be well-adjusted and productive adults.
We invite you to sign up for our Child Genius Minds resource at http://childgeniusminds.com When you register for the Child Genius Minds FREE Tips you'll discover secrets like ...

· How to train your child's brain to be a super brain

· How to accelerate your child's ability to have an easier, happier, creative learning experience

· How to stimulate your child to adapt and absorb new skills quickly

· What you should do to build confidence in the critical early stages of your child's life

· And much, much more sent straight to your inbox to benefit your child for a lifetime...

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Wingy_Lee

Saturday, June 6, 2009

Raising G-rated Kids in an X-rated World

By Michael Grose

Effective parenting involves good character development- that is, raising kids who have a sense of ‘other’ rather than a sense of entitlement. It also means raising kids with a moral compass that helps them work out right from wrong. Kids usually pick up this moral compass from their parents however parental influence is easily diluted by the huge array of messages from they hear from the media, music, peers and the Internet.

Kids today are exposed to too much adult-oriented content too early. In some ways today’s children remind me of slum children in Victorian England, who saw too much but experienced very little. Today’s kids are exposed to too much in terms of adult content and concepts that they may not understand and they don’t have enough positive developmental experiences that involve all their senses(however this is a topic for another day).

The following three simple processes will provide the means for you help develop a moral compass in your children and ensure that you stay in the game as your kids move into adolescence.

1. Place televisions and Internet-connected computers in a public place in your home. With the average Australian family owning more than two television sets increasingly televisions are in children’s bedrooms. This not only limits your supervision and monitoring options but removes the chance for the children to easily speak to you regarding content that they are not sure about. Ditto with Internet-connected computers. Search engine giant Yahoo! advises parents to place computers in public spaces in the family home so kids have easy access to parents while they are online.

2. Have regular meals together. Sounds deceptively simple but mealtimes are tremendous opportunities for parents and children to talk. Let your kids be heard but also be heard yourself. The free interchange of ideas and information that a vibrant meal-time provides is one of the best forms of adult/child/young person interaction there is. That is not to say every mealtime will be provide opportunities for brilliant conversations. However even if the conversation flows once in every three mealtimes that is a great hit rate- and better than non at all.

3. Read good literature to children. Good children’s books and novels generally have messages that revolve around a diverse array of positive values such as tolerance, persistence and courage. Just ten minutes a night spent reading to your children will help them develop a love of reading, but also expose them to ideas that are generally constructed with the relevant age group in mind. Kids are hard-wired to learn from story so expose your kids to good ideas through the written word.

The best interactions with kids happens when no one is working at it. However, in this noisy world parents need to be proactive and make sure they engineer situations where they can maximise their well-intentioned influence on the children they are raising. Lecturing and moralising doesn’t work these days with kids, but influence certainly does.


Michael Grose is a popular parenting educator and parent coach. He is the director of Parentingideas, the author of seven books for parents and a popular presenter who speaks to audiences in Australia, Singapore and the USA. For free courses and resources to help you raise happy kids and resilient teenagers visit http://www.parentingideas.com.au

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Michael_Grose

Wednesday, June 3, 2009

How Do I Raise Balanced Children? 7 Leadership Strategies for Raising Godly Children

By Karen M. Pina

Raising children is no easy task and it’s not getting any easier. At the same time, the word of God remains the same even in a world that is changing by the moment. In this article, we provide 7 strategies to teach your kids about priorities and intimacy with the Lord.

By now, we have all heard start early with spiritual disciplines as your child's personality is completely developed by age 5. Certainly, this is true and you should start early. What happens when life happens and does not allow you to start as early as you would have liked to? The good news is that it is not too late. It takes 30 days or more to break a habit. So if by age 10 certain spiritual disciplines are not in place in your child’s life, just start re-training them, gradually introducing the new Godly habits and replacing the old ungodly habits.

Strategy #1 -Be the Balancing Act
God loves just weights. This tells us He loves balance, and as His children He wants us to truthfully balance the things in our lives and our children's lives. When you think of the word balance what percentages come to mind, 50% - 50%, 20% - 20%, 80% -20%? OR is it my child spends a lot of time in this area of his/her life for a season (perhaps baseball or basketball season), and little time in the other areas of our lives (perhaps sleepovers, parties, etc...)? And then when it's not baseball or basketball season, nor party time, we spread out our time evenly to other categories of our lives like work/chores, time with God, and family time. Let your children see you spending time building relationships with God and others, time for recreation, rest, church and spiritual devotion, entertainment, hobbies, sports, work, family and community time. As the parent, set the tone, the pace, be the weighing scale, and monitor areas that are getting out of balance.

Strategy #2 - Be the Model
When you model balance, your children will follow suit. Remember our actions are as important, if not more important than our words. Let them see you reading the Bible and ask them to read with you. Let them see you praying, and encourage them to pray with you. How about implementing a family fast day? Let them hear you talking about God, and include them in your dialogue. Children of all ages imitate what they see. If you seek God in prayer in the midst of a trial, they will too. If you mirror an intimate relationship with God, you will see the rewards in their relationship with God.

Strategy #3 - End the Day With God
Set aside 15-30 minutes each night with your children evaluating your day. Try reflective journaling. Each of you can ask the following questions: What choices did I make today? How does God feel about them? How did I relate to others? Is there something I need to seek forgiveness for before going to bed? What were my challenges and opportunities in keeping His Word today? Share your answers. Yes, be transparent and honest with them, but most importantly with God.

Strategy #4 - Busy on Purpose or Frantically Busy
Think about how many things you are currently involved in on a week-to-week basis. Now ask yourself, how many of those things have a specific leading from the Lord? Routinely, we take on responsibilities and even "fun" activities that are more life draining than they are life sustaining. I strongly urge you to partner with God and allow Him to create your family’s schedule by asking Him, Is this something You want me/us doing? The answer to this question will find you busy on purpose versus running in 14 different flesh-inspired directions.

Strategy #5 - Write a Life Mission Statement
There are many things we strive to achieve in life for ourselves and for our children. Here are a few: healthy self-esteem, a good education, and success. But how about wanting your children to develop a personal relationship with Jesus Christ above anything else? God desires we hunger and thirst after Him, and seek Him more than any other person/thing in the world. What are your children thirsty for? What are you thirsty for? We urge you and your children to sit down and write your own mission statements. The statement conveys what you want your life to be most concerned with. Take into consideration your God-given gifts, talents, abilities, and passions.

Strategy #6 - Apply For the Transfer
As your children start getting older you need to learn the mystery of transferring responsibility. When your children are younger, you are “the be-all end-all” in providing direction and order. As they get older, gently prompt them to integrate the spiritual disciplines you have taught them into their own lives.

For instance, ask them to pray about what God would have them do in certain situations even about helping around the house. Whatever they believe God would have them do, encourage them to go for it. This way they are accountable to God for what they do or don't do, not you. Yes, they may flounder, blunder and make some mistakes. Hold them accountable for the mistakes and redirect them back to God again. This practice will expand their learning capacity to trust and lean on God, and make decisions that please him, not you. They will need these skills later in life.

I admonish you to turn your child over to the Lord, actively surrender expectations and attachment to results, and let God raise them. I am confident He has some pretty creative ways of disciplining them while maintaining fear, reverence, and respect in their relationship. This strategy is sure to be a hit because you get to keep their respect in the learning process. To tell the truth, you may gain more than you already have!

Strategy #7 - Set limitations
No good thing does God withhold from us. As His child, we may ask him for more material possessions, more friends, a promotion on our job, or a new house. Certainly there is nothing wrong with any of these things. At the same time, what we may need is more grace, more peace, more joy, or to spend more time with Him to fill up our mind, will, emotions, and body with what they crave – His presence.

It should be no different with your children. What do they really need when they ask for one more material possession, to spend the night at a friend’s house, or to sign up for another activity after school? Our flesh is never satisfied and as parents we must set limitations and define how much is enough.

Closing Thoughts for God's Leaders
John Maxwell says leadership is influence. Our ability to influence our children is tied into their respect for us. It is natural for us to resist being influenced by those we do not respect. On the other hand, we emulate those we do respect. To lead our children, we have to become leaders worth following. Loving them unconditionally, providing for them, spending time listening to them, setting limits, and teaching them Godly wisdom are all part of our role as reputable leaders.

Sure effective parenting is a tough, time-consuming, wonderful job, but it is one of the greatest callings in life, and we need God's parenting wisdom for the job. Do not look for a formula based parenting tool, or a pre-fab approach. We need to “specialize” in our parenting by seeking God's wisdom based on each child's gifting, character and temperament.

Our children are on loan to us for a short time. You are momentarily in charge of an eternal being! Use this time gracefully balanced between creativity and wisdom.

Living in wisdom everyday,

Karen M. Pina

GOD’s Coach

©2006 Gifts Ordained by Direction. All Rights Reserved
Karen M. Pina is a leadership coach, and the CEO of Gifts Ordained by Direction (http://www.godscoach.com), a coaching practice that addresses everyday leadership issues. Pick up a copy of Karen’s book “Leadership FITness” (http://www.fit-leaders.com) and get FIT physically, financially, and spiritually.

Mine for the gems in your career, relationships, and leadership development by joining the many readers of Gem News. Subscribe now and instantly receive a free audiobook chapter on career fitness. You can partner with Karen for more support around what you have just read or allow her to mentor you to become a certified coach.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Karen_M._Pina