We've all seen it, the mother with two kids in tow and one sitting in the front of the grocery cart। The two are running down the aisles, grabbing things, all the wrong things - sugary cereals, chocolate bars, potato chips... The cart is overflowing. Mom is yelling things like, "put that back" and "no, you can't have that today" and "please stop running" and finally, "Get over here now!" If you are like me, a few things cross your mind or memory. You feel a twinge of pain and sympathy when you see her and want to run over and help. Your are somewhat irritated and can't help wondering why she doesn't leave the kids home when she shops? and lastly, If you are feeling particularly smug, or your children are past the age of no restraint, you may have a moment of memory loss and be saying to yourself, my kids were NEVER like that. I wouldn't bet on it.
So what do you do when you have to take the kids with you on errands and particularly errands that spell danger for you and your kids. It's really pretty simple:
1. Plan it out first - Have a plan for the errands that you have to do regularly. Figure out what you need and the best times for you to do them. Most likely late afternoon when both you and your kids are spent is not the time.
2. Make your grocery stops short -If you have to go twice, do it. Figure out the items you need beforehand so you aren't taking the kids down aisle after aisle looking for things. This is a surefire way to engage yourself in a nightmare.
3. Have a kid's day at the grocery store - Take them to the grocery store and let them choose a few things that they like - they earn that privilege by not acting out during your other errands.
4. Remember to be realistic - Kids have energy and they get bored quickly. It is unrealistic to expect them to have the patience of an adult while you do your errands, especially if they're long and drawn out.
5. Don't make getting all your errands done so important that you can't let them go if your kids are cranky and irritable. You will just put undue stress on yourself and your kids and quite frankly, the errands will take longer to get done.
Although it may seem impossible and believe me, sometimes it really is, if things get out of hand, leave before you have to scream। You may leave without the milk but you will save yourself from a very negative experience.
Marcia R. Reich, M.A., LPC, CPT -I am a Licensed Professional Counselor with 10 years of experience. I have a private practice in Florham Park, NJ where I work with individuals, couples, teens and groups. I have also worked in schools and was a part of the Morris County Supervised Parenting Program.
Children act with strong emotions and often irrational behaviors and as parents we face the challenge of being fair but firm. We all want to do this well so that our children will turn out to be healthy, productive adults. It isn't easy. I offer my education and training, along with an understanding that comes from having lived through many of the same parent/child experiences with which many families struggle. I am now offering a special program called Positive Parenting - check my website http://marciareich.com/ for more information.
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