By Dan Morton
Very often, the things we say to our children can have a profound effect on their attitudes, moods and behaviors - parenting tips can help good parents become great parents!
I've come up with 3 great parenting tips that can add value to even the best among us. No parent is perfect, and sometimes, in the heat of an angry or frustrated moment, we say something to our children that we really don't mean, and shouldn't have said in the first place. Parents are human, and therefore prone to making mistakes. But the thoughtful parent will reflect on the day, and realize that mistakes were made - never to be repeated.
Here are the 3 parenting tips.
Wait Until Your Father Gets Home
One of the most common mistakes a parent will make is to say to a naughty child "Wait until your mother or father gets home." The initial idea is to defer punishment because the parent doesn't want to follow through at the moment, but this situation can have many bad consequences.
In order for punishment to be effective, it must occur when the bad behavior happens. The punishment loses effectiveness when delayed - the child may forget why he/she is being punished. Also, this mistake sets up one of the parents as the "bad guy." If repeated, the child may develop a fear for father if he is the only parent that doles out punishment.
Too Busy
Have you ever missed an event or activity that your child was participating in because you were "too busy?" If repeated often enough, your child may begin to think that he/she is not important in your life, and may feel the need to develop other ways to feel important - for the wrong reasons.
The harsh reality here is this: If you wanted that child so much in the first place (and love him or her), why would you begin to place a lesser value in time spent with your child simply because something else "more important" got in the way? I can tell you from experience that jobs will come and go, but you'll only have a very short time with your child until he or she is grown and doesn't need you as much as now. Cherish these "inconvenient" times as they're here only for a short while.
Comparison With A Brother/Sister/Cousin
Even though you may not realize it, you, as a parent, may be comparing your child with a sibling, cousin or a friend's child. The destructive part of this behavior towards the child can occur without even mentioning it to your child - often, your child can pick up on your thoughts through subtle hints and actions you may not even be aware of.
While there are far too many potential situations that I could use as an example of this type of behavior, the most important thing to remember is this: Your child is an individual, unlike any other on this planet. While he or she may share certain behaviors or characteristics (good or bad) with other children, it may be truly destructive for your child to even subconsciously wish that your child could "be more like that smart or well-behaved Billy."
The truth is these thoughts will be conveyed to your child at some point in time - and you may not even know it. This kind of comparison can have a devastating affect on the child's self esteem and contribute to more problems later in life.
These parenting tips are just a few of many thousands that parents can take advantage of to be a better parent. I should know - I've lived through two children of my own (and made the mistakes, too) so I am delighted that I now have the ability to pass on my experiences to others!
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