Yes, You Can Have Good Kids

By Kim Patrick

Good kids aren't born, they are made. But how do I make a good kid, you say? There are a few simple rules to follow in order to get your kids to be good.

The first rule is to have good boundaries. Yes, kids need boundaries. They feel safe and secure when you give them boundaries and they will actually be happier when they know their limits. Of course kids will push the boundaries; that's just part of being a kid. It is a normal part of child development. Expect it.

The second rule to get good kids is to be consistent in whatever you do. If their bed time is 9 o'clock, you need to enforce that. And if they break the rules, there needs to be some consequence to show them what they have done wrong. If you don't give them a consequence you will be depriving them of a learning experience. And kids need to learn how to operate in the adult world. If you don't allow them to learn, how are they supposed to function well in society as an adult later on in life? Let your kids learn by their mistakes. This is vital.

The third rule to have good kids is to spend one on one time with them each week, as often as possible. Here's the thing; when kids don't get attention they desire, they misbehave. So you can prevent much behaviour by ensuring that your child gets adequate one on one time with you.

Just last night I was busy on my computer all evening and my youngest child started to misbehave. I went to her and said "oh, mum hasn't been giving you any attention, and I guess negative attention is better than no attention, hey?" My daughter still was held accountable for her actions, but at least I understood where the bad behaviour was coming from. And if we can understand the reason behind our child's behaviour we have the power to change things.

The fourth rule to have good kids is to be willing to learn to do things differently. The world is changing rapidly and I am not convinced that what worked 30 years ago still works today. Read a book, talk to someone who has well behaved kids and ask them for their secrets. Take a parenting course. Join a mentoring program. Do whatever it takes.

Now here's the key: if you find something that works, keep on doing it. If something doesn't work, find another way. Try something different. And remember, Rome wasn't built in a day. But if you are willing to persevere and follow these few simple strategies I believe you can have good kids.
Kim Patrick is a single mother with four children, living on the Sunshine Coast in Queensland, Australia. She is a Parenting Coach, author, seminar speaker, and runs an online Mentoring Program for parents. She is also creator of the "My Sleeping Angel" CD series. Her web site is http://www.yourchildcanbehave.com

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